GFCF/Dairy-free (vegan) ranch dressing

My kids have gone through dipping and non-dipping phases many times.  We had a mercifully brief stretch where Boy #1 wanted ketchup at every meal and dunked everything from peas to strawberries in it.  While the kids aren't (yet) interested in MY personal dipping fave (blue cheese dressing), they do occasionally want something like ranch dressing (also one of MY personal favorites).

Since ranch dressing is buttermilk-based, I needed to find a substitute.  While it doesn't have to be vegan for my household, the recipe I decided to try was nut-based and therefore vegan.  My go-to homemade recipe for ranch dressing calls for mixing a blend of herbs and spices (given below) into equal parts mayonnaise and buttermilk.  While you can mimic the acidity of buttermilk by adding a little lemon juice to a non-dairy milk, I thought the flavor might still fall flat and that the cashews might help return a bit of richness to the dressing flavor.

Also I have a bottomless bag of chia seeds that I need to use up.

My first attempt at following this recipe exactly as written was underwhelming.  My results were on the thin, runny side and rather bland for my taste.

The consistency issue is likely a two-pronged problem...I prefer a thicker, more commercial consistency (the better for dipping, yo) and also I'm using a food processor rather than a Bone Crusher 6000 blender.  I have a blender that makes a decent daquiri, but it can't reduce raw carrots to sub-atomic particles.  The food processor does better, but it's also no cell-phone grinder.  I'd maybe get a thicker, creamier dressing with a higher-powered blender.

In lieu of heavier-duty equipment, I went with heavier-duty ingredients.  I doubled the amount of nuts and chia seed, reduced the liquid and went with my personal tried-and-true blend of herbs and spices for what *I* think ranch dressing should taste like.  It's a little heavy on the garlic and dill, but that's what I like and I'm not apologizing for it :)

I'd like to try this nut-and-chia recipe head-to-head with an acidified non-dairy milk plus mayo base to see if I prefer one to the other, but for now here's the nut-and-chia vegan version.

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S'mores on a stick

This is NOT my idea.  I cannot claim it in any way.  But I learned enough in the making of it not to take some notes and share them.  Dipping chocolate has ever been my foe, and I learn something new every time I try and fail and retry and fail less badly LOL  If you don't count the time I spent screwing up the first batch of chocolate, going to the store to get more chocolate and starting that part over, it only took me about 20 minutes total to make these.  These can be made a couple of days ahead, if you're making them for a party.

First the DOs:

• DO push the pretzel sticks into the marshmallows until they stick out the other side a bit
• DO thin the melted chocolate with a tbsp of shortening
• DO buy extra chocolate chips, just in case of screw-ups
• DO use parchment paper or a silicone mat to put the dipped sticks on

Now the DON'Ts:

• DON'T use anything except shortening to thin the chocolate (not butter, milk, water, or oil...better to use nothing at all if you don't have shortening)

OK, there's just the one DON'T but it's important.  If water or milk or butter or oil gets into the chocolate, it will "seize" or start to turn fudgy and you will have delicious faux fudge but totally undippable chocolate.  This is true for candy coating as well. 

The set-up is more important than the recipe.  Have your pretzel-stuck marshmallows assembled before you start melting chocolate.  Put them on baking sheets lined with parchment paper or silicone mats.  Melt the chocolate in a double boiler, preferably one wide enough to put your hand down into safely to dip the marshmallows (I have had bad luck with melting chocolate for dipping in the microwave, so I don't try any more).  I rolled just the sides of the marshmallows rather than dipping them straight down as I was worried that the marshmallows would pull off the sticks.  Keep the heat on low under the double boiler to keep the chocolate warm and thin (if you don't have a double boiler, I suppose you could melt the chocolate and put your work bowl over a heating pad to help keep the chocolate from cooling and thickening too much, but I can't swear to the viability of this equipment work-around).  Work with one stick at a time, dipping then rolling then putting it back on the baking sheet before doing the next one.



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